Hello Fellow Coparent,
Finding a family law attorney who’s not just skilled but also aligns with your goals of reducing conflict and unnecessary expenses is essential. It’s about finding someone who understands your situation and works towards a resolution, not escalation.
One thing you find after working with coparents is that people tend to select an attorney that represents their personality. So you ex may have found their perfect counterpart in their selection of attorneys. But it’s a common mistaken belief that you would be best served by selecting a “bulldog” to defend you in a high conflict situation. In fact, it’s generally a bad idea to select a bulldog attorney.
Here’s how you can find that attorney and what questions to ask.
1. Research is Key
- Start with Referrals: Ask friends, family, or professionals for referrals. Personal experiences can give you valuable insights.
- Online Research: Check online reviews and attorney websites. Look for attorneys specializing in mediation and collaborative family law.
2. Interview Potential Attorneys
- Initial Consultation: Most attorneys offer a free or low-cost initial consultation. Use this time to understand their approach and expertise.
3. Questions to Ask
- Approach to Conflict Resolution: How do they typically handle conflicts? Look for indications of whether they lean more towards mediation or litigation.
- Experience with Cases Similar to Yours: Do they have experience with cases like yours? Familiarity with similar situations can be beneficial.
- Communication Style and Frequency: How will they communicate with you, and how often? Clear and regular communication is important.
- Billing and Fee Structure: Understand how they bill. Do they offer flat fees for certain services? How do they handle billable hours?
- Strategies to Reduce Costs: Ask how they plan to keep costs down. A good attorney will have strategies to minimize expenses.
4. Gauge Their Philosophy and Style
- Philosophy on Coparenting and Children’s Well-being: An attorney who prioritizes children’s best interests and encourages amicable coparenting arrangements can be a good sign.
- Their Take on Resolving Cases Out of Court: Do they encourage settlement discussions and mediation?
5. Trust Your Instincts
- After meeting with potential attorneys, trust your gut feeling. You should feel comfortable and confident in their ability to represent you effectively.
6. Watch Out for Red Flags
- Attorneys Who Fuel Conflict: Beware of attorneys who seem to encourage conflict or speak negatively about other parties. This can lead to prolonged litigation and increased costs.
- Lack of Clear Communication: If an attorney is not clear about their fees or approach, it might be a sign to look elsewhere.
Conclusion
Choosing the right family law attorney can significantly impact the outcome and experience of your legal process. It’s worth taking the time to find someone who aligns with your goals and values, especially when it comes to minimizing conflict and costs for the sake of your family’s well-being.
An attorney is never a substitute for a good therapist, coach, or a robust coparent support team. But the right attorney will serve you well, especially in cases of high conflict, ensuring your rights and children’s best interests are protected.