One of the most stressful moments for some of our users is the anticipation of sending their coparent their new BestInterest-enabled number. This is the special phone number where your coparent will reach you from here on out.
Only you know your coparent as well as you do and know how to navigate this transition best. Most users find that sending a simple text message with the new number is sufficient, while others choose to explain the transition in a more in-depth way.
Some example messages of the “simple” variety:
Hi [Co-parent's Name],
Please use this new number for all our communications from now on: [Your New Number]. Thanks!Hi [Co-parent's Name],
For anything you need to discuss or share, please text me at this new number: [Your New Number]. I will no longer get texts from you on this number.Hi [Co-parent's Name],
From now on, please text me at this number: [Your New Number]. I will no longer get texts from you on this number.Once you take the plunge and give them your number, it’s safe to completely block them on all other forms of communication, putting you back in the driver’s seat about when and how you get messages while ensuring that you will still get urgent and emergency messages as they happen.
Also, remember that it’s important to enroll your co-parent in the change, so it’s best to leave out any blaming or shaming language as this may only serve to inflame your relationship – remember that this is your choice, and you are the one taking the first step to reduce tension for yourself.
If you wish to explain your reasons in more detail for switching to a new number, here are some tips:
1. Start with a Positive Tone
Begin the message on a positive note, emphasizing the shared commitment to the best interest of the children. This sets a constructive tone for the conversation.
2. Explain the Purpose
Clearly explain the reason for the new communication method. Highlight the benefits, such as reducing conflict, improving organization, and ensuring that all communication regarding the children is in one place.
3. Provide the New Number Clearly
Make sure to clearly state the new phone number and explain that this will be the exclusive number for co-parenting communication moving forward.
4. Emphasize Mutual Benefits
Focus on how this change will benefit both parents and the children. Mention that it aims to create a more harmonious and structured communication environment.
5. Include Instructions
If necessary, include brief instructions on how to use the new app or system. Assure them that it’s designed to be user-friendly and will streamline their communication.
6. Request for Cooperation
Politely ask for their cooperation in using the new number and app for all future communications about the children. Stress the importance of this step in making co-parenting more effective.
7. End on a Positive Note
Conclude the message with a positive statement or a note of appreciation for their understanding and cooperation.
An example of a more detailed message:
If it feels better to explain the transition in more detail, here is one suggested message:
Hi [Co-parent's Name],
I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to discuss something important regarding how we manage our co-parenting communication for [Child/Children's Name(s)]. To help us focus on what’s best for them and streamline our conversations, I’ve set up a new system that I believe will benefit us all.
I’ve got a new phone number specifically for our co-parenting communications: [New Phone Number]. This will be our dedicated line for all matters concerning [Child/Children's Name(s)]. It’s part of an app designed to make co-parenting communication clearer and more organized, reducing misunderstandings and keeping everything in one place.
I believe this change will make a big difference in managing our schedules, decisions, and any discussions regarding the kids, with less room for conflict. The app is straightforward to use, and I think it will help us both stay on the same page more effectively. You don't need to sign up for anything or enroll.
I’m asking for your cooperation in using this new number and app for all our future communications about the kids. I’m looking forward to making this transition smooth for both of us and, most importantly, for [Child/Children's Name(s)].
Best,
[Your Name]