Why Read Receipt Timestamps Are a Bad Idea

In the age of instant messaging, read receipts have become a common feature in many coparenting apps like Our Family Wizard. These timestamps indicate when a message has been read, ostensibly to enhance communication transparency.

You’ll note that BestInterest, an app designed to facilitate healthy coparenting communication, does not include read receipt timestamps. This is not a missing feature, but rather a deliberate decision rooted in the principles of privacy, engagement reduction, and fostering healthier interactions between coparents.

While the inclusion of read receipt timestamps by other apps is well-intentioned, here’s why we made the decision to exclude them from the BestInterest app, and how it benefits our users:

Prioritizing Privacy

One of the primary reasons BestInterest does not include read receipt timestamps is to prioritize user privacy. In coparenting relationships, especially those that are high-conflict or strained, knowing exactly when a message has been read can lead to unnecessary tension and pressure. Coparents might feel compelled to respond immediately upon reading a message, even if they need time to think through the right response or are unable to reply at that moment. Read receipts, in essence, put undue pressure on coparents and take away from the present moment.

By not displaying read receipts, BestInterest allows users the freedom to read messages at their own pace without the added pressure of being monitored. This encourages more thoughtful and composed responses, fostering a more respectful and less intrusive communication environment.

Reducing Engagement and Pressure

Read receipts can inadvertently increase engagement pressure, making users feel the need to constantly check and respond to messages. This can lead to higher stress levels and a sense of being perpetually on-call, which is particularly burdensome in the context of coparenting.

On the flip side, read receipts offer no real benefit to the sender. In fact, the sender often experiences the same level of increased engagement: “Why aren’t they responding?” “They just read it, let me wait until they respond” “They responded to other messages, why not this one”. While this level of engagement works well in the context of two friends having a chat in real time, for coparents, our experience is that it’s imperative to slow communication down.

BestInterest aims to create a platform where communication is meaningful and deliberate rather than reactive. By omitting read receipt timestamps, BestInterest helps reduce the pressure to engage instantly, allowing coparents to manage their interactions more calmly and effectively. This approach promotes a healthier balance between communication and personal space, which is crucial for maintaining a positive coparenting relationship.

Encouraging Healthier Communication

In the absence of read receipts, coparents are encouraged to communicate more openly and honestly. They are less likely to make assumptions about the other person’s intentions or feelings based on when a message was read and not responded to immediately. This can help reduce misunderstandings and the escalation of conflicts.

Without the constant awareness of read receipts, coparents can focus on the content and quality of their communication rather than the timing. This can lead to more constructive and productive conversations, ultimately benefiting the children involved by creating a more harmonious coparenting environment.

Mitigating Conflict

In high-conflict coparenting situations, read receipts can be a source of contention. One parent might become frustrated or anxious if they see that their message has been read but not responded to promptly, potentially leading to accusations, heightened tensions, or even unnecessary legal conflict.

By forgoing read receipts, BestInterest helps mitigate these potential conflicts. Coparents can trust that their messages are being received and read without the added layer of scrutiny and pressure. This creates a more peaceful and cooperative atmosphere, allowing both parents to focus on what truly matters—the well-being of their children.

Final Thoughts

BestInterest’s decision to forgo read receipt timestamps is a thoughtful choice aimed at enhancing user privacy, reducing engagement pressure, encouraging healthier communication, and mitigating conflict. By prioritizing these principles, the BestInterest app fosters a more respectful and supportive environment for coparents, ultimately benefiting the entire family dynamic.

In the journey of coparenting, creating space for thoughtful and deliberate communication is essential, and BestInterest is designed to support that goal.

Ready to chart a new path on your coparenting journey? Download the BestInterest app today.

Exploring the intricacies of communication, particularly in the context of coparenting, can lead to some fascinating insights. Speaking of communication, you might be interested in learning more about instant messaging and how it has evolved to include features like read receipts. Additionally, understanding the impact of technology on relationships can be deepened by reading up on interpersonal relationships. If you’re curious about privacy concerns in digital communication, take a look at the privacy article, which explores various aspects of maintaining confidentiality in modern communications. Lastly, for those keen on enhancing their coparenting experience, exploring strategies for conflict resolution might provide valuable tools to navigate complex dynamics effectively.