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On this week’s episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, I sat down with Tamara Rowles, Esq.—a licensed attorney, certified mediator, and the creator of the Divorce Wave app—to talk about the emotional and legal complexities of divorce. With over 20 years in litigation and a deep understanding of mediation, Tamara brings the wisdom of experience and the compassion of someone who’s walked the path herself.
Tamara’s journey from attorney and real estate sales agent to divorce coach and app creator started with her own divorce. What she discovered during that life-altering transition was a new purpose: helping others through the emotional challenges of divorce by guiding them with intention, clarity, and resilience.
“Nobody wants to be in their divorce era,” Tamara says. “But when you’re there, it’s an opportunity to smash the chessboard and rebuild your life—piece by piece.”
From Litigation to Healing: Tamara Rowles, Esq. on the Power of Mediation
Tamara spent two decades in litigation before she realized traditional legal processes often created more harm than healing.
“In litigation, it took five years to resolve a case. In mediation, I could resolve it 80% of the time in a single day. It was a better process for everyone involved.”
After experiencing her own divorce, Tamara shifted her practice to focus on the emotional side of divorce—an area she felt was underserved by the legal system. She now works as a conflict consultant, supporting clients with mindfulness, accountability, and insight as they navigate one of life’s most difficult challenges.
Divorce as Transformation: A New Narrative
Tamara reframes divorce not as an ending, but as the beginning of something deeply transformational.
“Divorce is the quintessential hero’s journey. You walk through the fire. If you do the work, you get the reward of transformation.”
Doing the work, according to Tamara, starts with accountability. That means owning your role in the breakdown of the marriage—not to place blame, but to grow.
“That’s where transformation begins. You say, ‘I don’t want to do that again. So how do I change me?’”
Setting Your Compass: Divorce with Civility and Intention
One of Tamara’s central pieces of guidance is to begin your divorce process with a clear intention.
“Before you hire an attorney, pause. Decide how you want to show up and how you want to divorce. That becomes your compass.”
This approach, rooted in emotional intelligence, allows co-parents to stay grounded and reduce conflict, even in the most difficult post-divorce dynamics.
“Keep your side of the street clean,” she says. “That’s what gives you peace, and it’s what your kids will remember.”
The Divorce Wave App: Mindfulness for the Modern Divorce
Tamara is also the creator and host of Divorce Wave, an innovative app that blends audio mindfulness with real-time emotional support.
“Divorce Wave is designed to be your co-pilot. Whether it’s day one or a year in, it helps you breathe through the chaos.”
The app includes short, targeted audio “waves” like “I Just Got a Nasty Text From My Ex” or “How Do I Emotionally Detach from My Spouse?”
“It’s not a meditation app,” Tamara notes. “It’s situational. It’s for people who are actively navigating the challenges of divorce.”
Tamara sees Divorce Wave as a perfect complement to the Best Interest app: while we handle message moderation and conflict resolution, Divorce Wave helps users ground themselves before they even read the message.
Parallel Parenting, Then Collaboration
Tamara’s own co-parenting journey began with parallel parenting, focused on boundaries and respectful distance. Over time, that evolved into a collaborative co-parent relationship grounded in mutual respect.
“Sometimes, parallel parenting is all you can do. But when the dust settles, mutual trust can emerge.”
“Now, I know I can call him if I mess up. There’s no shame, just ‘Sure, I’ve got it.’ That’s really nice.”
She encourages her clients to start with the basics: respect, clarity, and letting go of the need to control or be right.
“You’re not going to change your ex. That’s why you got divorced. But you can change the way you show up.”
Learning to Be With Yourself Again
Tamara also talks about the spiritual aspect of divorce, how the uncertainty of this phase can open the door to deeper self-connection.
“After years of putting your marriage and kids first, you might need permission to focus on you again.”
Her approach blends Buddhist philosophy, Adlerian psychology, and the practicalities of daily self-care. Waves in her app include gentle guidance on how to feel the feelings, sit in discomfort, and rebuild your sense of self—without rushing into another relationship or ignoring your grief.
“Actually feeling your feelings—that’s what reconnects you to yourself. That’s where the healing begins.”
Final Thoughts
Divorce may feel like an ending, but as Tamara beautifully illustrated, it’s also an invitation—to rebuild your self-esteem, to embark on a journey of self-discovery, and to create a life you want. With the right mindset, support, and tools like DivorceWave, the road ahead can lead to something truly beautiful.
You can find Tamara Rowles, Esq., on Instagram @tamaraesq or head to DivorceWave.com to download the app.
As a special gift to our podcast listeners, Tamara is offering a full year of Divorce Wave for just $44.99 with the code BEYONDCONFLICT. That’s 12 months of guided support for less than a single therapy session.
Whether you’re on day one or deep in the co-parenting phase, Divorce Wave is there to navigate the legal and emotional challenges of this journey.
Ready for less conflict? The BestInterest coparent app is endorsed by family law experts and trusted by coparents just like you.
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