Elise Buie

The Hidden Cost of Aggressive Divorce Tactics – with Attorney Elise Buie

When you’re facing divorce, it’s tempting to think the answer is to hire a lawyer with a reputation for being a “bulldog.” But as Elise Buie, Esq., founder of the Elise Buie Family Law Group, explains, aggressive legal tactics often do more harm than good—especially for your kids.

In our conversation on Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Elise shares why high-conflict legal battles can leave deep wounds, how to build an estate plan for your post-divorce life, and why emotional intelligence might be the most powerful legal tool you have.

Why Aggression Backfires in Divorce

Elise Buie, a seasoned Seattle family law attorney, has seen it all. As a guardian ad litem and founder of Buie Family Law Group PLLC, she’s witnessed how scorched-earth strategies often escalate conflict rather than resolve it.

“Parents think they’re protecting themselves by hiring the most aggressive attorney they can find,” Elise says. “But often, they’re modeling unhealthy conflict for their children and driving up costs for everyone.”

Instead of focusing on “winning,” Elise urges parents to consider collaborative law approaches, where the aim is to resolve the family dispute with dignity and respect.

From Personal Divorce to Professional Mission

Elise didn’t set out to become a family law attorney. Her path shifted after surviving Hurricane Katrina, navigating a complicated divorce journey, and learning to co-parent under one roof before finally separating.

That experience taught her the value of boundaries, self-reflection, and holistic support—lessons she now applies with every client at her law firm in WA.

Understanding the Real Costs

Aggressive legal strategies can have long-term consequences:

  • Financial Costs – Endless filings and “hand grenade” tactics drive up legal bills.
  • Emotional Costs – Children may later read hostile court documents that damage relationships.
  • Opportunity Costs – Time and energy spent fighting could be invested in healing, rebuilding, and smart planning services like your estate plan.

For parents in divorce in Washington or anywhere else, Elise recommends stepping back and asking, Is this fight really worth it?

Emotional Intelligence as a Legal Strategy

Elise believes that leading with heart is just as important as knowing the law.

  • Put yourself in your ex’s shoes—even if they’re a high-conflict or narcissistic co-parent.
  • Remove triggering language from your communications (AI tools like BestInterest can help).
  • Build a supportive team beyond your lawyer: therapist, estate planning attorneys, financial planner, and relationship agreement experts.

Proactive Planning Beyond Divorce

While many come to Elise Buie Family Law for divorce, her lawfirm also handles prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, uncontested divorce, probate, and asset division cases. She stresses that a well-thought-out estate plan can prevent future conflicts and protect children in blended families.

How to Work with Elise Buie Family Law Group

If you need a family law attorney, Elise Buie Family Law Group offers compassionate, strategic guidance from their office location for Elise at 720 3rd Ave in Seattle.

Final Takeaway

As Elise puts it, “Struggling is normal—but you don’t have to do it alone. Ask who can help you, not just how you can fix it.” Whether you’re creating a postnuptial, finalizing a divorce, or updating your estate plan, leading with heart—and the right team—can make all the difference.

If you’re navigating a family dispute and want to protect your children from unnecessary harm, consider whether aggressive tactics are worth the cost. Often, the best resolution comes from respect, strategy, and a willingness to focus on the long-term picture.


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