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Conflict resolution is a skill most of us aren’t taught—but all of us need. Whether you’re navigating challenges in the workplace, a rocky relationship with a co-parent, or a misunderstanding between team members, learning to resolve conflict constructively can transform tension into progress.
Poor communication, unmet expectations, and underlying causes of conflict like unaddressed emotions or unclear roles often lead to escalation. But conflict resolution isn’t about “winning.” It’s about preserving mutual respect, finding a common goal, and creating a positive outcome for everyone involved in the conflict.
Resolution Through Emotional Intelligence
One of the most effective conflict resolution strategies begins with emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, while being attuned to others’. The role of emotional intelligence in conflict resolution can’t be overstated. It helps you focus on the present, avoid rehashing the past, and engage in open dialogue without becoming reactive.
When conflict occurs, your goal is to resolve the issue—not escalate it. That starts by learning how to read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication cues, including facial expressions, tone, and body language.
What We Can Learn From The Office: Conflict Resolution in the Workplace
Workplace conflict can derail productivity, erode trust, and create a toxic work environment. Whether it’s clashing personalities, unclear expectations, or perceived favoritism, addressing conflict in the workplace with empathy and structure is essential.
Some key conflict resolution techniques that can help include:
- Setting ground rules for respectful communication
- Practicing active listening
- Creating space for each party to voice their perspective
- Involving a mediator if necessary
According to a Harvard Business School professor, unresolved workplace tensions not only reduce morale—they can increase turnover and significantly impact team productivity.
5 Conflict Resolution Strategies You Can Use Right Now
These five conflict resolution strategies, adapted from the Thomas-Kilmann model, can be used in any conflict situation, including personal relationships and work settings:
- Avoiding – Helpful when emotions are high and space is needed.
- Accommodating – Appropriate when the relationship matters more than the issue.
- Competing – Necessary in emergencies or when a quick decision is vital.
- Compromising – Useful when both sides give a little to find common ground.
- Collaborating – The gold standard for a win-win resolution through collaborative problem-solving.
These conflict-resolution strategies are particularly useful in creative problem-solving, where the goal is to maintain positive relationships while achieving a solution.
Strategies for Conflict Resolution With High-Conflict Coparents
Not all conflicts are created equal. When you’re dealing with high-conflict individuals—like a narcissistic co-parent—traditional strategies may fall short. That’s when specialized tools are needed.
Here are several effective conflict resolution strategies for managing extreme conflict situations:
BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm)
Created by Bill Eddy, the BIFF method is a tool for effective communication when conflict may otherwise spiral. It’s especially effective for written communication and conflict resolution in the workplace or court-related parenting disputes.
Empathic Confrontation
Borrowed from schema therapy, empathic confrontation allows you to confront harmful behavior while showing empathy for the unmet needs behind it. This approach helps resolve emotionally-charged conflicts with maturity and compassion, especially in conflict in a relationship.
Grey Rock Method
Used in narcissistic abuse recovery, the Grey Rock method is about becoming emotionally uninteresting to the other person. This isn’t a long-term solution—but it can be an essential way to resolve an immediate conflict without escalating.
Conflict Resolution Techniques That Actually Work
To resolve the conflict effectively, it’s not just about picking a strategy—it’s about practicing the conflict resolution process:
- Identify the root cause
- Stay calm and regulate your own stress in the moment
- Use communication and conflict resolution tools like BIFF or empathic confrontation
- Involve conflicting parties in co-creating a solution
- Maintain mutual respect and a focus on long-term resolution
This process applies across all areas of life—from the boardroom to the kitchen table. And by using effective strategies, you don’t just manage the current challenge—you build stronger relationships for the future.
Developing Conflict Resolution Skills Over Time
Like any skill, conflict resolution skills develop through practice, reflection, and sometimes mentorship. In workplaces, training in managing conflict, negotiation, and communication is increasingly recognized as essential.
Learning how to handle conflict, especially when it arises with emotionally reactive people, requires you to balance your response and your boundaries. When you understand your own emotions, you’re less likely to be pulled into unproductive loops—and more likely to find a solution.
Whether you’re dealing with addressing workplace issues or trying to improve relationships with others, building skills in conflict resolution is one of the most powerful investments you can make.
And… Conflict Can Help
Yes, you read that right—conflict can help. It can help us see what matters, reset unhealthy dynamics, and navigate and resolve deeper issues we’ve been avoiding. The key is learning how to approach it constructively.
So whether you’re stuck in family court, navigating difficult team dynamics, or working through a conflict in a co-parenting relationship, remember this: the right conflict resolution techniques—grounded in clarity, empathy, and skill—can lead you to a stronger, healthier outcome.
Ready for less conflict? The BestInterest coparent app is endorsed by family law experts and trusted by coparents just like you.
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