Does Your Parenting Plan Cover These 40 Things? (Free Checklist)

Most parenting plans are written once, under pressure, by two people who want the process to be over. They cover the things everyone argues about in month one and stay silent on the things that surface in year three.

The silences are the problem. They do not show up when the plan is signed. They show up at the exact moment they matter — a fever on a Sunday, a job offer in another state, a message at midnight that nobody knows the rules for.

This is a 40-point check for those silences. Work through it and mark what your plan actually says. The blanks are your list.

What it covers

Forty provisions across seven areas:

• Schedule and time — the regular schedule, holidays, school breaks, summer, birthdays, and whether missed time is made up
• Exchanges and transport — where, who drives, how late is late, and who else may collect
• Decisions — medical, education, extracurriculars, religion, and how a deadlock actually breaks
• Communication and technology — the channel, response times, emergencies, the child’s own contact, recording, and photos
• AI and automated communication — eight provisions almost no plan contains yet
• Money — what counts as ordinary, approval thresholds, reimbursement, insurance, and childcare
• Travel, relocation, and review — notice, passports, consent, distance triggers, and how the plan is amended

The phrase that causes the most trouble

If your plan says “as agreed between the parents” anywhere important, treat it as a blank.

That phrase works right up until you stop agreeing — which is the situation the plan exists for. It is not a provision. It is a note saying the drafting ran out of time, and it turns every future disagreement back into a negotiation you have no rule for.

The part your plan almost certainly does not have

Parenting plans written before 2024 rarely mention AI at all, and the questions are already live in real households. Eight of the forty points cover it, and they are worth reading even if you skip the rest:

Is AI-assisted drafting allowed at all? Most plans say nothing, so one parent quietly uses it and the other later calls it deceptive. Permitting it openly at least settles in advance whether it was allowed.

Must a human read and send every message? Fully automated replies speaking as a parent is the line almost everyone agrees on once asked — but only once asked.

Does use have to be disclosed? Reasonable people land differently here. Deciding in advance stops it being weaponised later.

Should tone-checking be required of both of you? This is the rare provision that makes things actively better rather than just clearer. It commits you both to sending the calmer version.

Which platforms are acceptable? General chatbots may retain and train on whatever you paste in — including your custody schedule, your child’s medical details, and your address. A plan can require tools that do not.

The remaining three cover the child’s personal information, whether AI-generated content may be used as evidence, and whether either parent may run bulk analysis of the other’s messages for litigation. That last one used to be theoretical. It is now an afternoon’s work for anyone with a laptop.

What to do with your blanks

Count them — but only the ones that apply to you. Some of these are not available or advisable everywhere, and a point that cannot apply where you live is not a gap. Then look at which boxes are empty rather than only how many: the residential schedule, decision-making authority, and relocation carry more weight than the rest.

Nought to three is well covered — note the gaps and raise them at your next review, unless one of the blanks is a schedule, decision-making, or relocation point, in which case treat it like the band below however low your count is. Four to nine is normal and worth acting on. Where your plan is a private agreement, many can be settled between you in writing; where it is a court order, the order stays controlling until a change is approved, so check what your jurisdiction requires. Ten or more means your plan is doing less work than you think, and the list is better taken to an attorney or mediator in one go than resolved message by message over the next two years.

Your plan should be easier to consult than to remember

The gaps are rarely the real problem in the moment. The real problem is that nobody remembers what the plan says, and reopening a 40-page order at 9pm to check one clause is more effort than most people have left at 9pm.

You can upload your parenting plan to BestInterest and Coparent Coach can draw on it — so when a schedule, expense, or decision-making question comes up, it can point you at the relevant provision instead of leaving you to remember it. The review is an AI-generated reference and can miss or misread a term, so check anything important against your original. Parenting plan upload is included on Protect and Protect Plus.

Before you use this

This is a checklist, not legal advice, and family law differs by state and country. Some provisions listed may not be available or advisable where you live. If there is any history of abuse or coercion in your situation, do not negotiate these directly — take the list to your attorney or advocate instead.